I went to my friend Trouble's house a month or so ago. We were looking at stuff and I'd brought my computer.
Trouble had recently moved in to her house. There were boxes everywhere. Trouble has been to my house and knows that it looks like a constant explosion. Yet, when I turned on my computer and handed it over to her, I was horrified by how many icons were all over the desktop. I wanted to grab it back and stick them where they were supposed to be.
How silly is that? Like she cares about the way my house looks. Why would she care about the silly desktop? I just don't know.
these people, they understand me.
I taught a class tonight. I taught one yesterday, too. For the second night in a row it went really well. So well, in fact, that people asked me if I taught other things. Ooooooh! I'm hot stuff! I started feeling superior and almighty. Perhaps I would ascend into teacher heaven! Or perhaps I would be compensated more richly.
technical no-how
With this head full of impressive egotism, BellyRub called and asked me a question: How can I scan a picture and make it look good?
Being full of impressive egotism, I started saying things like "dots per inch" and "resolution" and "is the computer on?" I was dreading the point at which I would have to call, "Hey, honey? How do you make it so the background is a picture of Pamela Anderson instead of those trashy twins?" Fortunately, BellyRub didn't ask me that one. I believe that at one point he had Britney Spears performing at some awards ceremony with her breasts emerging from her costume.
Classy. Always classy.
This time, however, he was with his bosses (which doesn't exclude the possible occurrence of breast bearer re-selection) and they wanted to scan a wallet sized photograph. I told him how I'd do it. He said that they'd done that and then tried to expand it to an 8x10.
To a what? That? Oh, you can't do that. It'll look bad.
"Can't you clean it up somehow?" That's what BellyRub wanted to know.
"No, you can't clean that up. It's like taking a business card and blowing it up into a poster and expecting it to be an essay. The information just isn't there."
He laughed. And then I realized that I am, indeed, a technical genius. And furthermore, these are my people. I can speak to them.
I'm going to start a seminar series called "Technical? No how! No way!"
Is there much more to say than that?
Posted by dotty at July 23, 2003 10:54 PM