When I went to Portland, I was shocked by how few people there were on the streets. When we got to restaurants and the gardens, there were plenty of people. On the way to those places, however, the streets were nearly empty.
Lots of the people were on the highway, actually. And so was I. I must say that their radio selection was lackluster. The majority of the DJ people were ranting and raving without giving much thought to anything. Although I generally prefer to get on my high horse when it comes to mercilessly making fun of people (the horse isn't really that high. It's high in comparison to the swill I also enjoy wallowing in when it feels really good to make fun of people.), in this case, I went back to the wallowing.
They were making fun of Sean Connery. The suggestion was that he might be losing a little bit of his edge. When describing why he chose a role in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, he said that he didn't really understand the script for the Lord of the Ring movies so didn't take the part; didn't understand the script for the Matrix, didn't take the part.
So in a false interview with someone who sounded moderately like Sean Connery, the FauxSean was constantly repeating, "I don't understand it! It doesn't make any sense to me."
After maybe fifteen minutes of this nonsense, he started sticking in non sequiturs like nobody's business. Oh yes, and these were good ones.
The oysters in my pockets are singing.
A support group attracted refugees intraveniously.
The hobos busted out for the love of Ralph.
And, of course, my favorite:
There are no scissors in the ocean.
Posted by dotty at July 21, 2003 10:11 PM