Going through security is nearly unpleasant at its very best and unpleasant in the extreme at its worst. I haven't experienced the worst yet. I fear that one day I will. Because I'm a bit of a spazoid, I chit chat with the security people. In my wild nightmare, my chatter marks me as a potential threat and as I act surprised, threatened, frightened, the super-secret security people behave as if they know the truth about me: my politics lean to the left.
Nevertheless, this morning, our security scanner at the first checkpoint was barely paying attention to the people. He just waited for the mystery machine of explosive detection to do its thing and then to send us along. He guarded our bags as we waited for a ticketing agent.
What did Dotty do next? She chatted with the security guy.
Dotty: How is your morning?
Security Guy: What? Oh, well. I've been standing here since 4:30 this morning.
D: Oooooh, that's no fun. You seem to be really efficient. And no one's been visibly angry with you. That's unusual. You must do a really good job.
SG: Oh, you guys are the ones who have to stand in line!
D: And you have to listen to us complain.
SG: It's not a problem. There's a clear pathway between my ears [holds index fingers up to each ear] so nothing sticks!
D: That's a good trick! I'd like to learn it, too!
SG: I raised two teenagers, so, you know.
D: How'd they turn out?
SG: Great. One's a teacher and one's a manager in a couple of stores in the area.
D: Sounds like you did a good job, but you know what I really want to meet?
SG: [gives a look like this: ?}
D: Someone who raised a zookeeper or a clown or a lion tamer.
SG: There's a guy here who's a clown. HEY! [he yells to another security guy] WHERE'S RICK?
OtherSG: I don't know; I haven't seen him.
SG: Well, he's a clown. You could meet him.
D: No, no. I want to meet the parents of a clown. That's what I want.
SG: There's Jon, he's pretty goofy. We could get him for you.
D: No, it's their parents.
OSG: Hey, you got a ticket agent there?
SG: No, I don't know where she went.
OSG: Can these guys come down there?
SG: You move over to the next counter.
D: Us?
SG: You.
[Ticketing junk goes on while SG guards bags against tampering]
D: Thanks so much for this. I wish I had something to give you to say thanks. Oh! I have apples. Would you like an apple?
SG: No, that's okay. [chuckle] A cup of decaf would be good…
D: Okay, I'll get you decaf.
[Dotty goes and gets him decaf, gets a stirrer, a creamer, a sugar, and a sugar substitute and brings it back to SG. All while BrilliantEditor stares at Dotty, wondering why the hell she's doing this]
D: Here you go, honey.
SG: Hey, thank you! You're all right!
D: [smiles and walks away]
BE: [looks at Dotty with eyebrows raised]
D: He said thanks and that I was all right.
BE: [smile] I'm glad it isn't a federal offense
D: I needed some absurdity in my morning.
BE: Airports aren't a good place or absurdity these days.
D: I know, sweetie. Thanks for letting me have fun, though.
BE: You are fun.
Then we had some breakfast.
Posted by dotty at July 8, 2003 09:51 AM