Dotty Parker

Canada. It's a whole other country.

There are ads on tv about Texas being "a whole other country." It seems to me that it should say, "a whole 'nother country." That's just what it seems like people in Texas would say. I betcha it seems that way to Tex as well, perhaps Florette, as well. In fact, I seem to remember him saying it that way. Then he said, "I'll tell you what" and later that night, "Do what?"

I would expect Texas to be like living in an entirely different country. I'm sure I've written about this all before, but my expectations of Texas need to be entered into the record once again so that I may make clear my expectation that Canada is not another country. In fact, Canada has become, in my irritatingly American mind, a bit of an extention of the United States. It's not all that hard to get into, you don't really need a passport. You do need an ID and some people are barred from entry. I guess Canada is like a huge bar with the same kind of arbitrary rules for entry that other bars and pubs and restaurants might have. It's just a truly enormous bar. And large parts of it are empty.

Having been in Montreal for the past five days, I feel a little like I've been smacked in the head. "Hello!" says Montreal. "You're not in Kansas anymore. In fact, you're not even in the same country!"

What? I'm not? I'm not, indeed. Although all around me I hear people speaking French, American English, British English, and I've heard bits of Japanese and Korean, I feel incredibly self-conscious of my American accent and my utter lack of French except that I can say that I don't speak French while speaking French. (My pronounciation of croissant has improved substantially as well.)

So, perhaps I could assume that the only reason this part of Canada doesn't feel like the US is that it speaks French.

But no! I would be incorrect! I was in Toronto last year and Ottawa not too long ago. Even then I knew I wasn't at home. Sure they have prettier money, but the coins look roughly the same as ours. It's something I can't put my finger on. Not even my little finger. Maybe they're polite in a different way. More like saying, "sorry about that, must be my fault" rather than, "oh man, does that suck or what?" Or maybe it's that they really are another country.

I just don't know. I felt obviously out of place in England. They drove on the wrong side of the street and everything. And some people spoke in so strange an accent that I had to remember what I'd learned in the My Fair Lady movie to understand even a little bit.

In France they had tiny cars and lots of things were really old, older than I'd ever see in the U.S. Oh yeah, and there was this Eiffel Tower you could see from everywhere. And public displays of affection were everywhere as well. Here in Montreal, too. And the little dogs followed people around even when they weren't on leashes.

But I'm rambling. More than usual, even. I think I have lots to say since I haven't said anything in a week or so.

So here I am in a whole other country, puzzling over what seems so different, and thinking about my puppies, so far away, and oh, so sad.

Posted by dotty at August 9, 2003 04:54 PM