Dotty Parker

don't cry for me meg and tina

I was talking with Mr.Guy on the phone today. He has just returned from a safari trip to little-kid land. These little ladies were funny, frisky, and fancy.

They were also a pain in the neck.

We'll call the little girls Meg and Tina. Meg is younger. Tina is older. Neither one is in kindergarten yet, so they're pretty young. Meg and Tina can do some cute things. They can avoid logic on purpose--

T: "I want some candy!"
MG: "Didn't you already have some candy today?"
T: "No."
MG: "Didn't you have a lollipop? Aren't lollipops candy?"
T: "No. They're lollipops."
MG: "Aren't they just candy on a stick?"
T: "No. They're made of sticky, yummy, lollipop stuff."
MG: "And that's candy."
T: "Um, can we have a popsicle for breakfast?"

Now, I'll admit that I've stuck two conversations together. Nevertheless, I believe it conveys the craftiness of youth these days.

Meg and Tina also did a special trick for Mr.Guy. They'd spit at him. Yep. That's the thing. To express distrust, distaste, distain, and a lack of distance, a wee spot of spit came flying in his direction.

I must tell you, Mr.Guy was unamused. I believe he has attributed much of this behavior to the consumption of sugar packets, but I'm of the opinion that they are spitting cobras waiting for their chance to break free. (The kids have a membership to the zoo, for crying out loud. What more proof do you need?)

When Mr.Guy got on the plane to leave town, I suspect there was a small sigh of relief at knowing that soon his clothing would be spit-free and that the illogical behavior of others will be so toweringly absurd, that lollipops would seem hardly worth arguing over.

Upon Mr.Guy's return, his sweetheart called to tell him that Meg and Tina had been crying all the way home, wishing that Mr.Guy was still with them.

A touching a moving sentiment, I suppose, but I think I'd sing them this song from Evita:

Don't cry for me, Meg and Tina!
In my heart, I'm glad I left you.
All through those wild days,
Your spitty hijinx,
I'm going home now!
You keep your distance.

That's just the famous part. There's more, but really, when you get down to it, there's not much more to say.

Posted by dotty at September 3, 2003 09:48 PM