Ah yes. Those who know of Dotty's antipathy toward children know that it extends almost exclusively to those children who are stupid, whiney, or smell funny.
Mr.Guy has sent me a link to the children I will never have. Someone has already taken these children from my womb. I will allow it, as I don't have much room in the house for children. I do request, to the great gods in the sky, that they send me a Christmas card. A card to entertain me, their intellectual mother.
This mom must admit that Tim is the favorite son with John a close second. I believe they are twins. Here's an excerpt from what they say about Donkey Kong. The entire conversation is much funnier. I encourage you to read it:
Tim: Mario dies way too easy. Oh, grab the umbrella. Those are cool. Unfashionable, gay, but cool. Oh, 300 points. That's it? All you get is points? That's lame. Can't you do something with the umbrella?
Tim: They just put totally random stuff here for points. Oh, you've got an umbrella. You've got a purse.
John: Watch out, Tim—fire. It's smarter than you think.
Tim: It's strange that fire moves in this and has eyes. Oh no, the fire's coming. It's going to eat you. Are these barrels alive, too? Everything's alive. And Donkey Kong's mouth is made of pluses. Look: Plus, plus, plus, minus. They're trying to teach you math by brainwashing you.
This one is about E.T. the video game. Notoriously bad, according to the article, and I must say I agree. Still, though, you can see all three of my children at work here:
John: He put himself inside your body. He bestowed his life force upon you.
Tim: [Points to lava lamp on TV stand] That thing's more interesting.
John: Yeah, let's watch the lamp. It's more fun and less predictable.
Tim: E.T. is unpredictable: You never know when you'll fall into a pit or when a kid is gonna enter your body…I mean use your skin as his own.
Nico: Didn't they bury this game in Mexico or something?
Gordon: Is that a woman?
Becky: It's Zeus. He's taking you away to the Acropolis.
My darling children. Aren't the dear? Nico is definitely welcome over to the house for grilled cheese sandwiches and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Dinner.
The link that I received came from Mr.Guy, but Mr.Guy received it from a person whose name I don't remember! I mean, I remember his name, but not his Dotty name. Well, for now we'll call him NYAdMan. It's no longer appropriate, and it will certainly change, but we need a name so we can say, "Thank you NYAdMan! I now know where my babies are!"
nyadman
I started a chart for who everybody was here. Shockingly, I didn't keep it up to date. I also have a list of several hundred topics for entries, but as my entries tend to ramble from one topic to another, I didn't keep that up either. Perhaps that's a project for today. Figure out a way to finally get those damned Blogger entries back and then I'll be able to search them with this glorious Movable Type deal.
I bet my children could do it. I'm just a dried up old hag.
Hooray!
Posted by dotty at October 24, 2003 02:29 PM