Christmas in Dottywood tends to have a lot of guilt associated with it. It isn't because of anyone else. It's always because of me. I'm the one who makes up guilt.
And therefore, this year, I am going to acknowledge when I feel guilty and then say, "Okay, I heard you, Mr. Guilt Provider. Will you please go away now?" And of course he will. That's what good hallucinations do.
One of the things that makes me uncomfortably guilty is to get a gift I don't like. I feel responsible for being too picky. It doesn't happen very often. If I were to get a jar of vomit, for example, which had some intense meaning to someone else and they had made a great sacrifice to share this meaning with me, I'd feel bad. I don't want a jar of vomit.
I once received a shirt that I didn't like. I was not only afraid to say that I didn't like it, I actually wore the damn thing, feeling virtuous and grossed out all at once. It had a kitty on it. It might have been pink, too. Although I am a delicate flower, I'm fairly certain that I'm not a pink t-shirt with a kitty on it kind of gal.
So! Since I feel bad when I get a gift I don't like, I feel really bad when I give a gift that the other person doesn't like. It just feels bad.
But reading minds isn't a skill that I have. Neither do I plan to acquire this skill. I, therefore, use my best judgment and good intentions to buy a lovely present or make a lovely present or decide not to give a lovely present.
I have determined, however, in my wanderings from store to store, that there are lots of very sensible gifts that are very useful and yet, I believe, are nearly universally regarded, when found in the stocking hung by the chimney with care, with a raised eyebrow and a question mark.
I will share them with you now!
I hope I've helped to illuminate some of the oddities that may inspire a guilt which seems to say, "My, my, my. You're mightily picky! Who are you to be so picky?"
My unasked for advice to you is to say to yourself, "I don't know who I'd have to be to be so picky, but apparently I am that person. Gift receipt, please."
Posted by dotty at December 22, 2003 10:23 PM