I am a whiner. I whine when it's cold outside.
I've said it. Now we'll go to the real issue: It is incredibly cold out there. You know how frost gets on the windows and little kids write naughty words in it with their little fingernails? Yes, I've seen that phenomenon in real life.
In my house, however, there's frost up most of the window and at the bottom is a solid ski slope of ice from where any moisture drips down. It is so damn cold that the condensation freezes to the window and creates "frost" that is thick and clear and much too much to draw pictures or write little words in.
Do you know those people who say, "Hot enough for ya?" I know those people. They have even been me (ironically, yes, but still, I perpetuated the craziness), but those people are going to be my dearest friends in the summer. I'm going to say, "Yuh, just about."
Those very same people would say, "Cold enough for ya?" but they can't because their lips are frozen together.
Communicating is difficult. Everyone talks into a scarf so their voices are muffled. The wind carries away their words. No one wants to look at anyone else since there's the risk of the wind actually hitting your face and freezing it. I went into a store to buy my dogs some treats. I walked in, found the treats, and was ready to go in under a minute. Signing my credit card slip was nearly impossible as my frozen fingers couldn't hold the pen.
In this weather, old ladies walk in from the cold and say, "Holy shit." Little old ladies! The blue haired, tea party giving, garden tending, woolen hat wearing ladies come in the door and say, "Holy shit it's cold."
What's the temperature? Right now it's -3 F. To convert that to centigrade you subtract 32 (more accurately, add negative 32), divide by 1.8 (or multiply by five ninths if you prefer) and once you write down the answer it says x=pretty fucking cold.
Oh yes. I, too, will be one of those little old ladies (just old, most likely no tea parties or blue hair, but I do like wool hats [the felted kind are so nice] and gardening) who walks in the door and uses naughty language.
But if you want to get warm, I've got news for you. Learn to talk like a sailor--the shock will keep you warm.
And, if you're curious, by my approximate math, it's about -20 C. 253 K. Damn cold.
Posted by dotty at January 10, 2004 08:13 PM