Dotty Parker

awwww. cute baby grapefruit

I just called my mom and dad. I had a question, you see. I'm making those little baby blanket/towel thingies, the kind with the little hood so they stay warm when they're drying off? You know those.

Well, I finished the first one. And it is adorable. I think, however, it will be less adorable when the baby's head doesn't fit inside the little hood. I think I made it too small. But how am I supposed to know? I've not been around newborns very much and when I have I'm afraid that they'll break or squish when I touch them. I know they won't, but they might. And there you are.

The real question, though, was this: How big is a baby's head?

So I got on the phone to call my mom. My dad answered though! This was even better! He gets a bit of a catch in his throat when I say the word, "baby". When I was going to visit a boyfriend in the summer during college, he said to me, "Dotty, be careful. Do you have protection? I don't want you going down there one and coming back two."

It was both humiliating and hysterical since he was asking me about birth control (holy moly) and he was asking me while he was in bed, the lights were out, and he had his night guard in his mouth. He sounds funny when he has that in his mouth. Of course, BellyRub and I both grind our teeth, too. I'm not sure about AngerTrain. With a name like that you might think it's certain, but he's a mystery. Yes he is.

At some point in my life, I don't think it was that night but it might have been, my father said, in relation to becoming a mother before I was out of school, "I've got a lot invested in you, little filly."

Ack! A horse! My favorite horse joke: A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

hahahahaha

So at any rate, I say, "I'm making a baby blanket," he stops breathing, "for a friend, and I," he clears his throat and will soon laugh, "wanted to know how big a baby's head is." He laughs now. "I mean, is it the size of a grapefruit?"

He says, "Jeez, I don't know Dot. Maybe more the size of a cantaloupe. Hmm, let me ask your mother what she thinks."

There's a pause while the consultation takes place quietly in the background.

"Your mother's hedging her bets. She says large grapefruit."

So I have to say, "Or maybe a small cantaloupe? Well, either way, the hood's too small."

Then Dr.Dad says, "They usually make them out of a towel, don't they? With a tuck in the back to make a hood." This man knows everything. No wonder I call him.

I said, "I don't know. Probably. But I'm making fancy ones."

"Well, okay. Is that it?"

"Yeah, that's all I wanted, Dad. Thanks."

And we hung up.

So there we are. A fruit salad of a baby head.

Very weird.

Posted by dotty at April 7, 2004 11:54 AM