Last night I was just about to get out of the bath. Which means I was still in the bath when the phone rang.
Part of me, the part that was in the bath, wanted to just let it ring. It was eight or nine o'clock and not many people call then so I jumped out, maybe not jumped, grabbed a towel, and ran to the phone.
I think I scared the hell out of the dog.
I said, "Hello?" trying to sound as if I hadn't just flown across the floor and over the bed to the phone.
I heard, "Hey, Dot. What's the name of the salesman in Death of a Salesman?"
"Mmmmmmmmm, it's....Willy Lowman."
"Yeah. But that won't work."
"What are you doing?"
"I'm doing the crossword puzzle. The clue was fictional dreamer. I thought it might be him."
"You got me out of the bath for that, bitch?"
He cackled and said I could go back if I wanted, but since I was already thinking about getting out, I'd let the water drain out. So I decided to do the crossword puzzle with him. We had a fine time.
An alternate route to Tel Aviv? Boat.
"Oh, how much do I hate this editor, Dotty? Listen to this, 'An apt question for clues 20, 42, and 63 down?' How about, 'What?'"
I had no idea either. So, when our two genius minds got together and still couldn't figure out the crossword answers (we're both smartest on Monday) we started talking.
He told me about a friend he knows who is kind of fat and completely hairless. BellyRub calls him "Humpty Dumpty". He wants to stop, but it's so hard to quit. At any rate, BellyRub was talking about Halloween and Humpty said, "I either want to be the mailman or an orange."
BellyRub thought that was a fine idea. A shiny, round object. It'd be good. But then Humpty said, "You know, like a wedge of orange or one of those thin slices."
BellyRub said he knew.
I suggested mailman for the winning costume idea. If he were the slice of orange, he just wouldn't be living up to his potential.