Dotty Parker

the texture of mmleh

Sprocket likes to help me with my projects. She really likes to stick her head in the trash and pull out the interesting and tasty bits. I would put these bits into a trash can that's dog-inaccessible, but I don't know what she'll find interesting. And it keep her from being bored. I was watching her tonight as she picked through the bag of trash that I'd just filled. She allowed me to record her internal musings.

(Sprocket wants a byline.)

oh i found a feather oh its wet now with my face and mmleh mmleh mmleh when my mouth goes chewing and the feather isnt so good now but i spit it out and oh i found a feather and oh it gets wet and mmleh mmleh mmleh its good but now im done and oh i found a feather mmleh uh oh hey whats that over there uh oh now i have paper pieces in my teeth and they stick to my tongue and then i go mmleh mmleh mmleh and try to peel them off my tongue but think i will just eat them like when i find a kleenex and just eat it and oh that girl left her coat on the floor and theres stuff in there to pull out and taste and spit out mmleh mmleh mmleh and wish i had my own coat to put things in to taste things but that girl made me a coat and i wont wear it because i look stupid like a stupid dog with a coat on and there are no pockets anyway and thats stupid but i wish i had a coat to put things in so i just eat them or bury them in dirt which is better than a pocket because it makes things tasty but maybe just a pocket would be good

I was watching Sprocket eating/licking/tasting feather bits and tried to figure out what sound she'd make if she were making letter sounds. The best I could come up with was mmleh. Say it out loud, or mouth the word, when no one's looking and you'll find that your mouth will make the shape of spitting things out or trying to scrape bad tastes of your tongue. You might look a little like Mr. Ed, too.

So here's a tip from me to you: if you want to know about the mouth-feel (thanks to Mr.Guy for that word) of a particular food item, or potential food item, talk to Sprocket. Sure, her punctuation is a little nonexistent and she tends to go on a bit, but she can tell you if something feels weird in her mouth.

Live insects, for example, have been deemed weird.

Spring used to like to eat straight pins and earrings. I think it was a fetish thing.

Neither one of them likes to lick rocks. I think the whole anhydrous action sucking the water right out of their tongues is a bit of a turn off.

If you have a question about mouth-feel and are curious to know what my dogs think about it, drop me a line and I'll let you know the verdict.

Incidentally, while I was recording Sprocket's internal dialog, I had BE recording Spring's.

(She wants a photo byline. She specified so I said okay. I didn't tell her Sprocket was going to get the same thing...)

Here they are.

I see pigdog.
She snorts through trash.
It is disgusting.
I cannot believe she does.
Feathers are sticking.
Dust sticks on nose.
I know more.
I do not dig in trash.
I am choosy.
I pick careful.
I invented mmleh.

So there you have it, boys and girls. The tasty textures of Dotty's pups. This could be my doctoral thesis for when I get a degree from a college in some other dimension.

Posted by dotty at December 5, 2004 11:11 PM