February 24, 2005
what's gnu with you?
Noam sent me a photo of a hybrid gnu.
He neglected to include the monograph describing this beast.
Nevertheless, I want one of these. I'm not sure why, perhaps to protect it from starving. I can't imaging how this birdie would fit into a tree or a next or keep its horns free of entanglement with a passing head of hair. If it can't do those things, how could it feed itself?
I bet you don't know either.
I would feed it chicken and biscuits. Hold the gravy, though. It would mess up the beard. I would also give it seeds and fruit and dark vegetable matter. Bugs, too. I wouldn't do the bugs, though. Those could be ordered from catalogs.
Because of its unusual mammally hair characteristic, but its lack of mammary glands, it would certainly require much affection and reassurance. Unfortunately, this gnubird would be temperamental and chomp with his powerful jaws. The teeth, however, are made for grinding.
It wouldn't be a clean bite if it broke the skin, but it would be less likely to break the skin than its cousin the foxbird. You are certainly less likely to be burned by either of them than by the firebird. And although the gnubird has a mighty, gargling yodel of a call, it cannot compete with the mighty rumble of the thunderbird.
This would be a thoughtful creature, given to gazing with longing into the sunset while pontificating with a murmuring coo in the morning. It spells out haikus with seed hulls. It uses its feet to create Zen drawings in the snow.
It signs all of its work, even the Zen drawings, with its horns.
Posted by dotty at February 24, 2005 11:57 PM