Some days feel a little sad for no particular reason. Today's been a little sad.
I couldn't sleep last night, so that might have something to do with it. Sleepiness can make a person cranky or punchy. I'd prefer punchy, but I got the slow version of cranky and just felt sad.
I had a class to teach this morning. I had two students come. The first was ten minutes early and didn't want to stay. I did a brief demo of what we'd do in class and she left after fifteen minutes. The other student was ten minutes late and had the wrong version of the software--everything is in a different place, the options are different, some options don't exist...I like to think that these things don't bother me. I like to think that I'm flexible and easy to work with. I appear to have a limit to my flexibility, however, and when that limit is reached, I'm significantly less easy to work with.
My student said to me that she recognized me, but when she saw me last I was much fatter. Then she told me I had a baby. She was thinking of someone else and it's kind of funny that people confuse me with BoPeep. Under thirty with long dark hair...we're all the same!
Ah whine whine. I could whine some more, there's always more, but I don't feel like it's accomplishing anything. There is no huge weight lifted from my shoulders. I feel no dark constraint removed from my heart. In fact, the more I think of writing this at all, the more I get closer to an existential quandary concerning the meaningfulness of any solitary activity whose results are intended to make an impact on others.
So at that point, I think of Sprocket snoring and gurgling. I think of Spring lying on her back with her paws flopped down. I think of the poison ivy that is once again trying to get me. Existential crisis averted with absurdity and itching.
Write that solution down for later. Absurdity and itching.
Posted by dotty at June 15, 2005 09:30 PM