Dotty Parker

one and a half jobs

I started working at Viking today. Again. I've always been a teacher there, but a few years ago I stopped being a salesperson. I am now a salesperson. Again.

I was supposed to start a job tonight working to put store fixtures together and whatnot overnight. It got cancelled because the shipment didn't arrive or something. The person who schedules these things called me, but couldn't reach me because I was at work. She called again later, but couldn't reach me because I was on the phone about another job. She sounded annoyed and said, "Well, I was wondering if you'd like to work this other set, but I guess you're not there." Strangely, I don't feel very guilty. I'll call that a victory for my therapist.

in unrelated news

The peepers are loud tonight. Or maybe it's the crickets. Likely it's both. But they are really loud. I think they must be having a party. They haven't invited me lately, though. It's probably because I've been squishing bugs in here and throwing them in the trash. I bet they were reserved meals. I bet.

rockin' the board games

This weekend BellyRub and Erotica were at the lake. I went to see them. Last night we played the game Taboo. (You have to get a person to say a specific word, but they can't use the six words in front of them to describe it.)

When you play with some people, you start to get a groove going. Somehow you start to read each others' minds and it's fabu.

BellyRub and Dr.Dad were on a team. Erotica, PTAMom, and I were on the other. The boys got their groove on. The girls, well, we didn't.

The word BellyRub had to guess: Bread
The clue Dr.Dad gave him: The staff of life.
BellyRub's response: I have a guess, but I don't think it's right.

The clue BellyRub gave: Look, it's my life, okay? So if I want to live on the beach and walk around...
Dr.Dad answers correctly: Naked!
(It's a line from _The Muppet Move_ or one of those. Janice with the shiny golden hair says it.)

BellyRub said: If I was really small I would drink out of this--
Dr.Dad: A cup.
BellyRub: No, if you were really really small-
Dr.Dad's astonishing and correct answer: A thimble!

Later that evening there was a bat flying around. After we'd established that ohmigood there's a bat! It's in the house! PTAMom said, "Oh, we wondered where he went."

And as we tried to catch the bat, BellyRub said, "If I scream like a girl don't tell anyone."

the continuing stoooory...

So, I've never been good at going to sleep. I'm also no good at getting up. Seems as if I'm not built for a schedule. Or for fitting with other people's lives. Or for going shopping at a reasonable hour.

Last night I didn't sleep. It was five in the morning. I did yoga hoping it would relax me into sleepiness. Nope. It got to be seven in the morning. I decided to go out and run. Then I came back in and slept for an hour. Then I did something else that I can't remember and tried to sleep. And then I got up. Because it didn't matter.

I'm still up.

I'm making an effort to sleep. I real effort, not just a half-way effort. I was with my friend Ali who had books about insomnia. I think I have an over active something or other that makes me easily startled and makes it harder for me to filter out noises. I read that and smiled. Oh! Me in a book!

But I didn't figure out how to fix it.

Maybe tomorrow. Or tonight. But I hope tomorrow.

alligators in all attics

I went out today and while I was running around I found myself singing a song that I don’t know all the words to. It’s a Carole King song, but I know it because it’s on a Maurice Sendak DVD. Before the advent of such technology, I saw it on video.

I found it on Amazon and you can hear it, too! Simply go here and then scroll down and click song called “Alligators All Around”. (If you didn't already know how to do that, then I congratulate you for making it this far. Now come here so I can hit you on the head. With a chair.)

Pierre is pretty good, too, and you can tell just how good it is because some parent is complaining about it. A woman is so offended because Pierre gets eaten by a lion and then the parents hit the lion with a chair. Yeah. It’s all so real that the whole chair thing is just OUT OF CONTROL! (Or it might have been some wise guy trying to annoy people like me. I still marked it as unhelpful.)

At any rate, I put the words from Carole King here, and then I wrote my own version. I’m not completely happy with it so there may be another version, but for now, this is what you get. Yum.

A - alligators all around
B - bursting balloons
C - catching colds
D - doing dishes
E - entertaining elephants
F - forever fooling
G - getting giggles
H - having headaches
I - imitating Indians
J - juggling jellybeans
K - keeping kangaroos
L - looking like lions
M - making macaroni
N - never napping
O - ordering oatmeal
P - pushing people
Q - quite quarrelsome
R - riding reindeer
S - shockingly spoiled
T - throwing tantrums
U - usually upside down
V - very vain
W - wearing wigs
X - x-ing x's
Y - yackety-yacking
Z - zippity zound
A - alligators ALL around!

A- armadillos arguing
B- blitzes of beer
C- cooling cats
D- dirty dancing
E- elevating exorcist
F- finagling finance
G- gripping grendel
H- hooping hulas

I- idealizing ignorance
J- jumping Jesus
K- kneading knotted knecks
L- living like lepers
M- mediating mongoose
N- nearly never
O- ostriches ovulate
P- pinching pennies
Q- quenches quickly
R- rueful ripping
S- stirring sturgeon
T- teasing turtles
U- understated uniqueness
V- vicious venom
W- wild and wrong
X- axing hexes
Y- yodel your yawning
Z- zebras in zoos

mind meld

It's not as hot today as it has been in the past. It isn't as uncomfortable today as it has been in the past.

Today, however, has melted my brain. A slow moving gunge of sticky, disorganized thoughts is sliding its way around my cranium.

Gross.

The dogs went for a walk. Spring's brain must have melted. She's been good for so long, almost a year, but today she just ran. She ran across a field and under some outbuildings. It was a challenge to get her back.

It was interesting to watch her. She was trotting along. It was, apparently, too hot to run. Suddenly, she looked up and ran up the hill. There was nothing I could see and Sprocket hadn't heard or smelled it...her brain melted. There it was. That final drip of doggie saliva and she was too hot. She went into prehistoric dog mode.

Run!

upgrade/downgrade

I'm changing my status from crappy to just crummy. Or crumby.

When a person is in the hospital and their condition changes for the better, say critical to stable, has the person's condition been downgraded or upgraded? It would be down since it's not as intense, but it would be up because the person is getting better. So many things to think about.

I was at a meeting tonight and we talked about trade-ins versus trade-ups. The difference is mostly in how you ring up the sale. It doesn't mean anything to the customer. But we talked about it for half an hour. We have a laminated plastic sheet, should we need help.

Ringing up a sale-there are no longer any bells to ring, are there? Yet I still think of it as "I'll ring that up" or "We'll ring you out in a minute."

The bells just aren't ringing anymore.

sniff

I'm feeling a bit cruddy just now. It's keeping me from feeling like I want to write things. I'm sure you understand that it's also summertime. I must keep myself cool. Since my computer is powered by nuclear fusion, you can see how it might be too warm.

I'll be back Monday.

sea hunt!

On the weekend, my father was putting the "oh-my-god" motor back on the sail boat. While he was in the water reattaching said motor, he dropped his sunglasses. Oh no! It was windy! He could not find his glasses as the water was turbid!

He left the glasses there at the bottom of the lake.

The next day, at lunch time, I was sitting next to Dr.Dad. He had been chatting about things he needed or wanted to do today. "Yeah, we went fishing this morning, now I need to make a spot to clean the fish" PTAMom snorts. She wanted the fish cleaning location to have been designed many moons ago. "I should make a line to hang them on." PTAMom makes another snort. She doesn't want to see this thing. "I wonder if the guy next door would mind if it was on his side of the house or maybe I should keep this stuff in the workshop, but there's stuff...Oh! I gotta go diving...Lloyd Bridges..."

These words were said so that "Oh! I gotta" interrupted what he was was saying about the fish stuff. Then the words "Lloyd Bridges" interrupted the word "diving". Yes, he interrupted himself to say, "Lloyd Bridges."

But why? I said, "What?

I didn't know the sunglasses story so here's what he said, "I lost my sunglasses yesterday, between the sailboat and the dock. I want to see if I can find them. The water was cloudy yesterday."

But Lloyd Bridges?

Yes, Lloyd Bridges. He was the star of Sea Hunt. There's a link right here.

Dr.Dad said something like this:

"Sea Hunt. Always someone acting suspicious. And then they were fighting in the water and they cut someone's air supply." He puts his hands up and makes a scared, open-mouthed face and says, "Yeah. Sea Hung. Is that still on?"

No, it isn't still on.

And he found his glasses.

yeah yeah yeah! oh. no. too hot.

I took Spring and Sprocket out for a run-around tonight. It's kind of hot and sticky. There was a mightily impressive thunderstorm yesterday. And the air is still wet from that. And there are still growlings of thunder, I think.

So this evening, when I took them with me, they didn't do their usual thing.

At first, they did. They jumped around and Spring growled at Sprocket's head and Sprocket kept banging into Spring and they skittered their way down to the car. Normal. They got in the car and Spring sat in the back window and enjoyed the breeze. Normal. We got out of the car and walked to the trail. They were sniffing and being generally annoying about trying to figure out who had walked there the most recently. Normal.

When we got to the trail, though, Spring was just meandering along. She wasn't doing the little skip she does when she's walking but thinking about running. That walk where the dog's legs are doing the regular walking gait and then it's like their back legs are deciding to do just one running action and then, whoop! back to walking.

She wasn't doing that. And she always does that. Not normal.

And when I got further ahead, when she usually comes tearing up the path to run past me and make me look like Pokey McSlow, she didn't . Not normal. She'd just look at me from the beginning of the path and then wander over to the other side to sniff that side. And maybe she'd do a somewhat hurried walk and then she'd stop and look at me. Not normal.

Then there's Sprocket. Who likes to be with me all the time except when it's time to get in the car or put on a leash when she likes to be just far enough away that I'll chase her around. Normal.

Not today. Today she stayed right next to me when I put the leash on her. Not normal. And she walked right along side of me. Not normal.

I decided that they weren't excited to be out on a walk. They were excited. They were doing their spazzed out happy happy routine, but then, I think, it was too hot. It think they just wanted to sit in an air conditioned room and sleep. I think they wanted to go to the movie theater and sleep near the popcorn machine. But instead they were on a walk. Too hot.

When I turned around to go home, Spring didn't get excited then, either, but she turned around right away and was ready to go. Not normal. Still no running. Not normal.

So I put Spring in the car--she did run across the pavement to the car--and Sprocket jumped in, too, (Not normal.) and we were on our way home.

They drank a lot of water. That's normal.

But Spring's still in a funked out mood. She seems tentative and unhappy. So I gave her some doggy aspirin in case it's her arthritis. Doggy aspirin. Absurd! I can hear you saying that it's absurd to buy doggy aspirin. But, my darlings, it isn't. They are supposed to taste like liver. She eats them. I don't have to have my fingers gnawed on when I try to stick pills down her throat.

I hope she feels better, though. I like the dogs when they're mobile.